Carefully, I plucked at the serrated edge of the foil, about midway down the length of a warm, slightly soft bundle somewhat larger--in diameter and length--than the can of soda which sat before me on the table. Pulling at the tear I had made, I extended it around the circumference of my lunch until I had completed the circuit, and removed what could reasonably be called the lid of the parcel. Inhaling deeply the rich, braided aromas of meat, beans, peppers, and salsa, I couldn’t help but grin in anticipation. I swallowed the saliva already pooling in my mouth.
The first bite was at the double-folded corner, and as a consequence was comprised mostly of tortilla, with a touch of lime-cilantro rice landing on the tip of my tongue. The second bite was, in equal measure, tortilla, rice, and sour cream. The third bite removed the opposite double-folded corner, and again mainly featured tortilla, but this time included a morsel of slow-roasted carnitas. I took my time savoring this bite--the first to introduce meaty filling is always a special experience.
On the fourth bite I opened wide and went deep, acquiring a panoply of carnitas, grilled onion, black bean, sour cream, and rice. The fifth somehow missed the meat, but introduced the sauteed bell peppers and a splash of green salsa, with cheese and sour cream providing a pleasant balance. Number six was back on the rice-filled side, with a generous dose of cheese and lettuce. The cooler flavors mellowed my tongue after the salsa plunge.
The seventh, eight, and ninth bites were, in order: blueberry ice cream, turkey with sausage stuffing, and caramel corn. The tenth was full of carnitas, with a touch of tomatillo and black beans. I could not identify the flavor of the eleventh bite, but until I washed it down with a couple swigs of cola, everything I saw was in layered shades of purple.
The twelfth bite was perfection: carnitas, black beans, a touch of bell pepper, a foundation of cilantro-lime rice, and cheese, sour cream, and salsa filling in all the gaps. I chewed slowly, savoring it, and carefully plucked three grains of fallen rice from the tray before tucking them daintily into my mouth to join their friends. The next bite tasted heavily of gingerbread, with cardamon and heavy whipped cream. I might have detected a bit of peppermint in the background. I carefully removed more of the foil. What was left was barely an end-cap, more a collector for drips of salsa and the juices from meat and beans than a real handle. It kept my lunch from decorating my clothing; that was all I asked.
Fourteen was mainly salsa and rice. Not bad, but not spectacular. Fifteen was a vast improvement: peppers, carnitas, cheese, and the lettuce I had somehow previously missed. Good balance of flavors and textures. After swallowing, I let my tongue enjoy the taste a bit longer before another sip of carbonated beverage to clear my palate for more.
The sixteenth bite was transcendent. Literally. As soon as my lips closed around it, the restaurant disappeared. Or perhaps I did. Either way, I suddenly found myself in a very dark space. A cool, constant breeze flowed damply from my left. Scrabbling sounds began to surround me, and I think I heard something--several somethings--sniffing the air. Hungrily. Startled, I swung to look uselessly into the total dark over both shoulders, and felt my chair scrape backwards on a dirt floor. Still holding my lunch in one hand, I groped forward with the other to find that the table was gone. With the same hand, I reached across into my hip pocket and extracted my keys, which shared their ring with a tiny flashlight. Pressing its sides, a dim glow appeared at the end of my arm, probing weakly into the cavern. As I swung the light to my right, something scrambled back, eluding my sight and growling--yes, definitely growling--at my intrusion. My arms crossed as the light finished its transit, and as my eyes followed it, I saw a quick glimpse of teeth and hair before their owner also leapt back from my view. I yelped, dropped my tiny luminous bulb, and furiously spat out the bite, scraping at my tongue to get it all out before I realized that people were staring, and I was back at my table in a brightly lit dining area, world music flowing happily from speakers high above me. I smiled gamely, crumpled my fingers around a napkin to dry them, and turned back to my lunch.
Number seventeen had no rice or beans at all. As usual, the rice had tended towards one end, and the meat had collected at the other. And, as usual, I had somehow managed to start at the rice end. I always started at the rice end. But that was fine--save the best for last! A mouthful of carnitas and grilled peppers and onion, with a generous lump of cheese over in the corner. Wonderful! Eighteen was almost entirely carnitas, with some lettuce adding a bit of crunch. My biggest reason for adding lettuce is the variety in texture it provides. I like food that crunches.
The next two bites were lobster thermidor, with a fine gruyere and good, strong mustard, followed inexplicably by french fries with malt vinegar. My twenty-first bite, very near the end of my lunch, included the double-fold of tortilla and a hint of sweet pickle. Twenty-two released a healthy flow of bean and carnitas into my mouth, and a trickle down my chin. I dabbed it away with the napkin still wadded into my left hand and licked delicately at the bean-stained rice dribbling out of the remaining tortilla after finally removing the last of the foil. There was little choice here; so much filling remained in such a small amount of tortilla that I knew biting what I held would only cause the rest to squirt out of the folded flour wrap, and I would lose precious morsels to the table and floor. Unacceptable. Instead, I carefully crammed an over-large final bite into my maw and thoughtfully chewed the tortilla, sour cream, rice, and final sliver of bell pepper, carrying the slightest hint of bubble gum.
I was halfway across the parking lot when I realized I had no idea where my car keys were.
(2-2-12)
I have a friend who says that she loves the products of a particular burrito chain because “every bite tastes different.”
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